Feeling Good at Home

 

Back in the summer of 2019, when I was in the throes of wretched withdrawal coming off 5 psych meds (details are in my other posts, like Update on My Psych Drug Withdrawal), I had to re-learn sleeping. Most of that was due to some 20 years on quetiapine, a powerful sleep agent, and suddenly without it, I hit big problems. If I could doze off, vivid nightmares would jolt me awake. While up, I was not only exhausted, but extremely sensitive to, well everything, but one particularly glaring issue was the bare white walls. I’d stripped my apartment down (because I thought I’d be moving 2000 miles away, but that’s another story) and now the empty walls ricocheted my paranoid fears straight back into my head. I needed certain colors to be on those walls, wasn’t sure which, but would know when I saw them. So, I looked online, and I found inexpensive tapestries that seemed right, plus they could be delivered within 2 days. Once I’d tacked them up with push pins, a warmth enveloped me, and the walls absorbed my emotions instead of cruelly throwing them back at me. Ah, just what I needed.

Also, being an artist, I conveniently had drawings I could sort through. I found some to pin up in my bedroom. That helped, but I needed something more, a sense of being protected from nightmares plaguing me every time I drifted off. Again, I shopped online and found another tapestry, a stag in a nighttime forest clearing, glowing little birds surrounding its antlers. This ended up being perfect, a guardian of sleep.

I began realizing the importance of color, pattern, light, and texture in the placement of meaningful and aesthetically pleasing objects around my home. Over the ensuing years I’ve collected bits, here and there, that catch my eye or give me a happy feeling. It’s not like I’m trying for a professional look, but more of an eclectic assemblage.

As I’ve recovered, moving into a more normal semblance of life (that includes good sleep), I love to look around at the pretty touches surrounding me. When I’m down, they give my mood a lift, maybe for just a moment, but that moment is the difference between keeping hope or plunging downward. A visually pleasing atmosphere aids in maintaining mental health.

The remainder of this post shows more photographs of my apartment with the decorative touches that affect my mood positively.

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I appreciate seeing colorful touches as I move about, whether they're on the walls, draped over the sofa, adhered to the refrigerator, or hanging in the bathroom.

My bedroom is now my sactuary, a cozy space with a window looking out into the woods.

Studio spaces, which I'm often rearranging, are set up to suit how I like working, with consideration to both lamplight and natural lighting.

The balcony matters too, with interesting rugs for the cat as she gazes into the trees.

The play of light, whether streaming through sheer curtains, illuminating parts of walls, or bouncing off shiny objects, is an ever-changing pleasure.

Details popping from windows, dresser tops, table tops, counters, anywhere at all, fill otherwise empty spaces, adding delight.

I hope this post brings inspiration, a desire for home to be an encouraging place, not because of fancy or expensive decor, but in how what fills it reflects you.