Travels Through Psychiatry

  After back-to-back psych unit stays, involuntary commitments, in which I was basically coerced into taking meds so I could eventually leave, am I a mental mess? No. But I’ve learned and acquired valuable information about how to proceed, with who I am now, after 40 years of psychotropics, some ECT, psych hospitalization after psych hospitalization. First and foremost, I accept my limitations. I need certain kinds of help. I have assistance financially that allows me to live in a nice apartment, keep a cat, eat decent food, be safe, and stay mostly to myself. And I need that isolation because being out in the world is frankly overwhelming, spins my brain, and drains my energy. But I still require contact with people, and I have that with social media, a comfortable way for me to find others anytime, no matter what’s going on with my sleep. What about sleep? Nowadays I doze off, on my own, without any kind of drugging, and I'm out for quite a few hours. That’s a vast impr

  I like taking art I've drawn or painted and turning it into more art, which I do using the computer. This usually involves cutting and pasting, copying, pasting, rotating images, then using filters, cropping, etc. until I'm finally at something new that I like. This is a bunch I did recently, all art made while I was on psych units. The newer, computer manipulated images are first, followed by photos of the untouched originals. All Eyes On This was made by combining two originals: Can We Fix Her the original: Every Night They Come to Attack the original: Faking Med Compliance Gets You Unlocked and Back Home the original: Remain Masters the original: In the Mind's Eye the original: No Way In, No Way Out the original: Paper Monuments to Ourselves the two originals: Finding Peace in the Chaos the original: Revealing Complexity the original: They Say You're a Danger the original: The Walking Fish the original: If you'd like, you can view more of my art during involunt

  I have a lot to say in this post, so it will go on a bit longer than my usual posts. Indeed, I did end up in a psych unit again, this time for 3 weeks, same psych unit as July, same psychiatrist in charge of me. Yes, I do mean in charge of me, but before I get started on that, I’ll provide some of the back story. I’ve been in psychiatric treatment on and off, mostly on, since 1980. At times treatment was outright abusive, such as strapping me to a bed, often coercive, and usually a process of psychiatrists prescribing this, then that, then stopping that and trying this and adding this and then these, or even insisting I have ECT. My psych hospitalizations total around 60, with 28 of those from 2016-2019 when the psychiatrist had me on up to 8 psych meds at once. And then in August 2019, she stopped 5 meds cold. After recovering from severe withdrawal, I left psychiatric treatment and stopped the remaining 3 drugs. Due to ongoing withdrawal sickness, I stayed mostly isolated at home

  Before I post about what happened at this second psych hospitalization, which I will do in a day or two, I thought it would be nice to post some art, mostly drawings, that I did while there. Drawing passed the time and I'm getting better the more I do. The above piece is a little sculpture I made of my cat Audrey and seeing it everyday reminded me of how much I love her. The rest are all drawings using an ink pen in the composition book they give out at the psych unit, except for the really colorful ones which I did in creative therapy, where you're allowed markers.