Travels Through Psychiatry

  I've been off all meds for about 18 months now, and generally I'm better mentally in many obvious ways. For instance, I no longer self-injure, something I'd felt compelled to do almost monthly when I was on quetiapine, lithium, benztropine, gabapentin,  desvenlafaxine, Vivitrol depo, naltrexone, pramipexole, and levothyroxine (yes, the last two were for adverse effects). And my moods can still elevate and then dip, but not in such extreme ways as they did for my years on so many meds. My days aren't always productive and I still feel ill too often and yet I care for my basic needs, and did care also for my cat Iris very well until she died last week. And there I thought I would face insurmountable crisis, a test of how together I really was as I stared into a dark chasm of losing my constant companion, the little being who'd lived with me for 8 years and stayed close by my side through all of the horrid parts of meds withdrawal. I was convinced I only wanted to st