Travels Through Psychiatry

  The Book of Terror (THC) is a collection of pictures I drew from May 2000 to April 2001. During this time, I was living in the San Francisco Bay area, in and out of psych units, and struggling to stop smoking weed constantly when I was out. Although, I have to say, probably the cannabis kept me more sane than anything as it focused me on making art, and helped me eat a little, and helped me get through the end stages of my mom's terminal cancer. The rest of this post is all the drawings, in the order that they appear in the book. ________________________________

  Over a span of four decades, I've been hospitalized somewhere around 60 times in psychiatric units. I assure you, these places are mostly dreary boxes devoid of any sense of freedom or expression, doors locked, staff watching, and my visualizations of them reflect that. The rest of this post is a smattering of those images. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  After being on all kinds of psych medication for 40 years, then a psychiatrist stopping several, no taper, enduring both severe and prolonged withdrawal, and then being told that was relapse, I'm left with both resentment at being drugged for no benefit (well, none for me) and opposition for the way these meds are overprescribed and changed/switched/dosages upped, etc. without much regard for adverse effects. And it shows in my art. The rest of this post is a sampling of that art. ____________________________________________________________________________________

  After back-to-back psych unit stays, involuntary commitments, in which I was basically coerced into taking meds so I could eventually leave, am I a mental mess? No. But I’ve learned and acquired valuable information about how to proceed, with who I am now, after 40 years of psychotropics, some ECT, psych hospitalization after psych hospitalization. First and foremost, I accept my limitations. I need certain kinds of help. I have assistance financially that allows me to live in a nice apartment, keep a cat, eat decent food, be safe, and stay mostly to myself. And I need that isolation because being out in the world is frankly overwhelming, spins my brain, and drains my energy. But I still require contact with people, and I have that with social media, a comfortable way for me to find others anytime, no matter what’s going on with my sleep. What about sleep? Nowadays I doze off, on my own, without any kind of drugging, and I'm out for quite a few hours. That’s a vast impr...